Just wanted you guys to know you are not alone when you stand before your easel or table feeling lost and wondering if you remember how to paint.
You see, most people think when you have reached a certain stage with your art and in your career you are set. No more going into the studio and producing terrible paintings. No more lack of confidence in yourself. No more wondering if you can get back what you had. No more fear.
Wrong!
After my surgery and long time in rehab, then home wondering when the pain would go away, painting never entered my mind…I was in survival mode.
One morning I woke up thinking about art. Halleluiah!!! Finally, an awakening of spirit.
I have entered my studio each day trying to find my way home. Home to where the beautiful colors live. Rediscovering shapes that used to be my friend. Home to being comfortable with a brush in my hand.
I had a lot of fear (that I would not be able to walk correctly again and that the pain would never go away) and a lot of sadness (having to depend on others). I needed to get those thoughts out of my mind so I let the paint fly. I played with abandon.
So why am I sharing this with you? The reason I do what I do as a teacher and artist is to bring out YOUR PERSONAL ARTISTIC BEST. This is my mission.
Because of this I feel it is also important that I share with you my fears and failures…in other words I am sharing with you my underbelly. To let you know an experienced teacher and artist still is vulnerable to the fear of losing her creative touch.
Will I be able to get back to where I was as an artist? NO. Because of this experience I will be a Better Artist!
Below is a progression of the painting I worked on day after day.
Working through the emotions that came up took dedication and love for myself.
You will be able to see the darkness, confusion, frustration and then the coming together of color, shapes and a depth of feeling.
The last three images look very similar but each have soft changes that make an important difference.
This may not be the best painting I have ever done but it is the painting that is bringing me home.
love and hugs,
Gwen
